Surprisingly, working at mafia has been quite an enriching experience so far. I have learnt quite a bit ever since I start work a few weeks ago, and is currently hoping that my contract will be extended for another month or two as it has been quite worth it, despite the long hours.

Working at mafia for example, has made me realise certain things such as how to be more careful about one's choice of words,for even one tiny word can hold very different meaning to the context. I have learnt various ways of presenting information and knowledge, sometimes in order to convey the message in a more bearable manner. I have also learnt to react to situations as calmly as possible, sieving through the real meanings and intentions behind a person's words instead of getting agitated or intimidated when the other party starts to react in an aggressive or dramatic manner. Being in HR has also open my eyes to many other things, such as the way things are done and why do they have to be done that way. And I do things that I think I will not be doing next time, like calling up some confidential departments and pestering them to hurry in their clearance. Hahaha. I have also discovered to my surprise and horror, that I seem to have inherited my dad's workaholic attitude and that I am actually quite a perfectionist when it comes to work! Hahaha... but it is actually not a bad thing right? However, my confidence level still needs some improvement I think, though I'm glad to say that it is certainly way higher than last year. Just give me some time and I'll be back on track soon! =)

I am also fortunate to have met some really wonderful colleagues, like this particular forty year old mum whom I thought was only in her twenties when we first met (she later told me that her secret to her wonderful skin is to stay cheerful and keep smiling always!). She shows me, in her own unique way, the importance of appreciating what you have and to always be positive no matter what happen, for it is often easier than you think. Interacting with this wonderful woman has really enlightened me alot about my attitude towards life, the universe and everything else. Heh.

Still, I will say that the job is quite stressful, though for me it is still at a manageable level. (unlike the poor scholars haha) And some good things do come out of it though. I realise that I do like to be kept busy, and being able to accomplish certain tasks does gives me a sense of satisfaction at the end of the day, even though things screaming "URGENT!", "IMMEDIATE" can be quite irritating at times. I have also finally realise the full use of MEMOS. Those small yellow pieces of paper now take a completely new importance into my working life haha.( And they are very good for "decorating" your workplace too!)

Anyway, that's all for now. I will be blogging about my ad hoc reliief teaching stint next time if I have the time and energy to come online again after work. And Andrea! When can we meet up? I really love the emails we send to each other while at work. I think the CO must be very amuse by the exchange by now lol. Try not to do elephant walk around CBD ok?>.<

And the job search continues. Went for an interview with the mafia just now and gosh, I have never felt so tired, so exsperated after that. The mafia members were basically entertaining themselves by shooting me from all different ways. (I never knew not taking maths can be so disturbing to them) My mind just sank into auto pilot after a while, where it completely took over and I just reply to every question without really going through my self consciousness (which is why I cannot remember much of it now). The sensation can be liken to the sudden splitting up of your personality, in which one side goes "goodness, this is stupid!Why are you asking me?"and the other goes "keep calm, keep cool". The last time I felt that way was perhaps during that trash talk session with certain individuals years ago. Grace, I know what you went through last year now! Haha. It really is a test of tolerance and quick thinking. Well, I seriously dont think I will get the job, but it was quite a valuable experience. At least I was able to keep calm and cool on the outside and smile throughout (though I felt seriously gek and want to cry in frustration)! Haha, I'll be even more prepared next time and will not make random mistakes like saying "stuff" instead of "things".

Maybe I should consider relief teaching.

Moving on, I also realise today that some memories really cannot be erased completely. When faced with a somewhat similar situation, I find myself experiencing the same things as I did the last time. It is kind of weird, because while your main consciousness is able to react to reality pretty normally, the back of your mind keeps reminding you of certain past scenarios which you thought you had forgotten, and that can be rathering confusing. No wonder my mind felt so overloaded after that. Still, as Evelyn, the aspiring-but-now-doubting psychologist told me, memories are part of a connection in your mind that can never be broken. They can only fade away or weaken with time, and the deeper it is, the longer it takes to weaken it. Perhaps I still need more time. Maybe I need to remind myself next time even more strongly that I am in a totally different situation, and that past failures does not determine the present.

But what about relationships? Does it completely disappear with the passing of time? Or does it fade away, yet leaving traces of it, just enough to remind you now and then? (Heehee, so Eve, can you answer this?XD)

Oh, and random note of the day: you know something bad really happen when a normally non expressive guy starts blogging in poem style. Hope you recover with time too! Take care!

New start.

And it's a new year all over again! Well, 2007 was really BAD, and I hope that this year will be so much better than the last. I did some reflections yesterday, thinking of the things that had occured throughout 2007,all the unpleasantness, the disappointments, and the pains. I'm so glad that they are finally over, and even happier still that I have survived through it all! *Round of applause please!* This year is going to be a completely fresh start, though I will be doing some things again, such as applying to the local universities, taking up temporary jobs here and there. But I'm very sure that I will be able to handle it much better than I did last year, and avoid those panic anxiety moments, the really unnecessary stress and depression. No matter what happens, it's my life that I'm leading right? I have the choice to choose where I want it to go! To hell with all those people who tried to bring me down last year,giving me all those unnecessary sufferings. And that unfortunately, includes my parents too. (If they still insist that I follow their wishes again I think I'm moving out once and for all.) Well, I'm never going to fall into their traps again.

Last year was also the year that I realised who my true friends really were. No amount of thanking and expressions of gratitude will do justice to the few who had stood by me and pulled me up whenever I start to fall, giving me the wisdom I need during those dark periods. These are the people whom I think I will treasure for a long time. Thank you for bearing with all my listless rants ever so patiently, knowing exactly what to say that calms me down, believing in me when the whole world seems to think otherwise. And most importantly, thank you for being there for me all the time, never giving up on me during those moments when I was such an unreasonable idiot that threatened the limits of our friendship. I'm really blessed to know you people!=)

And of course, to those who wish to see me die as terribly as possible while falsely give me "advice", TO HELL WITH YOU ALL. Same goes for those who can go "haha" when I'm on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown. If you think it is so funny, let me see what happen to you the next time when you have problems of your own. Well, thanks for showing me this side of yourselves, I'll be more wary next time.


I'm really missing all my friends who are still overseas. Please come back as soon as possible! Okay, I'm not really sure who reads this nearly-defunct-but-occasionally-active blog, but it's ok. Thanks for the postcard Elaine! And Alicia, dont drink too much absinthe please! I heard it causes hallucination when not properly distilled! Jiawei, you owe me something in exchange for those drug-cakes!XD

And now, the usual resolutions and wishes for the new year: (which I promise to try but cant promise I will try)

-Exercise more to strengthen the heart,immune system and flabby muscles. Of immediate importance, I cant be going to the doctor all the time for being sick so easily. Medical fees are so expensive nowadays.

-Reduce sugar and oil intake. I'm keeping to "No soft drinks" pretty well, because I never liked them anyway, and I dont really eat alot of rice, but other hidden sugar like chocolates,biscuits and cakes will need alot more work. I had been trying to cut down on oil intake,like not eating fast food, but somehow my mother always cook and buy fried stuff so it is impossible to not eat them! And what's worse, my siblings cant live without something fried or spicy in every meal! Argh.

-Sleeping regularly, before 1230am. Well, this is a tough one. But I tend to sleep quite early when I am working so I better find a job fast.

-Get that driving license. Yeah, if things dont always crop up on my theory tests days.

-Continue my education. Yeah, another thing which is of immediate importance. I really really want to study now!Let's hope for better luck this time.

-Be partially financially independent. Meaning, get a permanent part time job or earn enough during the first half of the year that will last the other half. Money is really important now especially with the inflation,rising CPI and what other horrors to come (after the boom comes the gloom you know, as taught in economics), and of course, someone's poor domestic financial managing.


Alright, that's all for now! Hopefully, I'll be blogging more often this year. You know it is good news whenever I blog because that means that my life is not stagnant and I'm moving ahead!=)