The gathering

So another chinese new year came and went.

Such occasions seems to be losing their touch every year, it just doesnt feel the same anymore. To be honest, I had never liked interaction with the older folks (especially from my dad's side) since young and will try my best to avoid any of those forced conversations with them, but this year's topics seem to have fell into no man's land. Even my cousins seem different, with some of them getting "promoted" as parents or spouses (good thing for me though, more money heehee). Away were the old days of jokes and craziness, now it's all about investments, CPF,government bonus, pregnancy and housing loan.

Conversations with my younger cousins had also became a morse code of one liners and embarrassed pauses, and some of them really shocked me with how much they had changed. One classic example was during a family dinner when Busybody Aunt (BA for short) suddenly asked my 15 year old cousin beside me "what happen to your hand?" All eyes naturally turned to scrutinise the neatly cut rows of self inflicted slashes on her arms. Awkward pause. "Fell". She whispered finally, before lowering her head even further. BA was just about to ask more when another aunt (her mother) nearby shook her head. Still unaware of what was happening, BA started making remarks about how those cuts are too neat to be caused by falls when my pooor cousin could not take it anymore and left the table.

Another incident was when BA2 was gleefully telling those around about how another of my cousin went back to her anorexic and self multilation ways again right after the cousin in concern came into the room, comparing her with her other nieces particularly me. (Because we are of the same age) How horrible. Can you imagine trying to act normal and indifferent throughout the whole period? We used to talk to each other but now it's just a polite nod.

Such nice relatives I have. Gah. Maybe I'll go overseas next year.

Sigh. I still dont understand why my cousins are doing such things to themselves and hurting their bodies though. It's quite worrying especially when you have always known them to be nice and happy in the past. =/

I guess people are always changing.