Quick shot

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

------Coldplay, Fix You------

Finally, no more school for this week. And what a trying one it had been so far. My relationship with the matriarch did not get any better, in fact it took a turn for the worse. Well, we havent been talking to each other for one week already, and when she finally broke the silence today, it was full of anger and ridiculous accusations. In short, everything went back to square one. Sigh.

It all started with me forgetting to turn on my alarm clock the previous night and so I wasnt able to wake up at my usual time of 6am. In fact I slept so soundly that I only jolted myself awake when she screamed in my ear, threatening to throw me out of the house if I was to miss another day of school again. My first thought was a "Huh?" before my eyes fell on to the alarm clock on my table. 6.26 am. And she was still shouting at the top of her lungs at me, for she thought that I had tried to skip school. Then she started talking abt me being a weird kid, family disgrace and her "Get-out-of-the-house-and-dont-come-back-you-ungrateful-thing". Of course I tried to ignore her and focus on trying to make it to school in time, but it was hard to concentrate on what you are doing when someone kept shouting at you. And it is so early in the morning, when my temper is at its worst. Well, I could not take it after a while and I TRIED to explain to her that it was really an accident. But SHE dismissed it as an excuse and in fact became even more agitated. Then I realised that time was running out and I would have no choice but to take a cab to school. So I politely requested her to give me my allowance a day in advance so that I can afford a cab to school. Her response really blew up my temper man...

Socrates wrote in 450 BC that

" The children now have luxury, they have bad manners, contempt for authority, they show disrespect for elders and are now tyrants."

Well, I think he is stereotyping us. For a philospher I think this is quite lousy. Havent he considered that the elders might not respect the youths in the first place? That they are a bunch of complacent people with the highest ego you can possibly imagine. I think respect is a two way thing. I'm not saying that because of what happen between me and my mum, but this is what I have observed whenever I try to communicate with an adult. They always believe that they are the wisest of all, and people younger than them has no right to comment on what they do, because they are ALWAYS RIGHT. What nonsense. And they think that they deserve respect for everything, while they dont necessary have to respect you in return. You have to respect them because custom dictates so.( Probably brought on by people like Confucious or Socrates who I believe, never had kids and had the misfortune to see some of the biggest brats in their life time) Bull manure. You cant expect me to respect you when you dont do anything to earn it in the first place. And think of it this way, kids often follow their parents. So if your kids turn out to be brats and tyrants, I think you should start looking at yourself first.

Right. So to de-stress myself after such a terrible week, I turn to music. And it really helps man. Right now I'm feeling much better than I was when I came home from school, when I just feel so burnt out and tired of everything. =)

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to' find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

--U2, Stuck In A Moment--

Heh. Well, I think I'm trying to unstuck myself now. And it is not as bad as it seems once you get the hang of it. XD

I ain't happy, I' m feelin glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long the future is comin' on,
it's comin' on, it's comin' on, it's comin' on, it's comin' on

--Gorillaz, Sunshine In A Bag--

Songs like these really make me optimistic again. Catchy tune too! Now I'm hyper enough to start thinking out solutions...=)

Dont forget my current favourite band SNOW PATROL!

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

---Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars---